Everyday you realize things are getting so unbearable, you feel like everything is just crumpling around you, and you try really hard to make it work. Things are finally on the up and up but of course you ruin it again. Giggles, smiles, tinglies, all turned into nothingness again. So many bad habits, habits you can't break, that bring out the worst in both of you. I look deep inside myself, I try to find myself and bring that out for you, I just can't seem to show you that person. "She's so sweet, beautiful, and she cares so much about everyone; everything." You'll never see that person because to you I need to be the tough one, the take no shit kind of girl. The side of me you never see is the side of me that is so wonderful. I've come to find that men cause the resentment in me to come out. I resent men. I've been wronged, horribly wronged, and I know how it hurts. I can't let anyone in and that's my biggest problem. The closer I get to someone, the more afraid I become. You're my best friend. You mean the entire world to me. I have fear. I fear that maybe if I don't give you this attitude, I'll be too soft, and you'll leave me. I'm a strong willed Italian woman, headstrong, and I take myself really seriously. I've made so many mistakes in the past few years and I wouldn't change a thing. I built off them and now I'm a much better person. So what, my past blew, I'm changing myself to make my future better. Things just aren't going as planned. Anyway, the point is that I'm ruining things and it's not making me feel better.
Perfection (n) - an ideal instance; a perfect embodiment of a concept.
Why is everyone always trying to make things perfect? It rarely ever works, unless they reach their own level of perfection, what they believe is perfect. No one has the perfect relationship, the perfect soul, the perfect anything, but I guess everyone has their own estimations. There is not one point or thing in my life that I could say has reached perfection. I wish there was. Try and try again as the old addage goes. I'm a fuck up, I always have been, always will be. I want to try so hard to make everything better, to make everything right, but as always I know I will fail. I'm not pessimistic, I just don't see a point in looking for rainbows and butterflies when they're not always going to be there. I've come to the painful realization that you need to do what makes you happy, whether other people like it or not. I've been very lucky my whole life, not always having things handed to me, I learned to value a lot of things. So what if I think differently? Everyone does. When I'm happy, you'll know. You can't push me, you can't think that if you change the least bit and hope I notice that I'll be happy. Everything in life is hard, but you can make things easy. Our situation is completely fucked up and so is the way we treat each other. Shape up or ship out, that's my favorite saying, and it has so much meaning. There isn't much more I could handle, so if you think you can't take the extra steps to make it work, we're nothing. I love you, I've loved you always. Don't make me regret this, please?
2009 NFL Mock Draft
15 years ago